shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
