would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
