I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
