my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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