Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
