did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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