i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
