This girl is more easily done than said...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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