i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
