i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize