I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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