I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
