Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your cock deserves a montage
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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