Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize