She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
