She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
