Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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