So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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