I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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