Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had to cum in my sink.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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