But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize