He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
