We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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