Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
should my penis look like a turkey
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize