pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
