While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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