I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
