absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
