I CAN MOONWALK!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
