so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
