take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
