i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
