i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
