I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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