You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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