Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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