Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just cropdusted the office
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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