i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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