"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
