So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
barbara walters just said penis...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
