just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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