I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize