PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
