wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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