You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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