I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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