I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
