once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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