she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize