Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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