I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
