Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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