I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
