so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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