"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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