At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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